Wedding Priorities...$25,000?!

The last couple of days I've been working on wedding plans! I absolutely love fantasizing about our special day and I've got the important things (colors, bridesmaids, dress, etc!) picked out. But moving forward, I'm running into some major problems: $1400, $1000, $350, and $2500.

These are the costs of the typical reception venue, the bar that is required even if you don't want alcohol at your wedding, one floral arrangement, and the catering for the reception. Seriously. The average cost of a wedding is $25,000, not including the honeymoon. That is insane.

Now the reason I'm so upset by this is not because we can't afford it; both sets of parents have been more than generous in being willing to help us out financially. I have such a visceral reaction to these obscene prices because I grew up in two places where $25,000 could change an entire village or town's way of life.

In Roundup, Montana, a town of 2,000 ranchers, farmers, and small business owners, $25,000 could renovate the park, start an after school program for kids, start a community beautification program, or give every family about $25 to spend on whatever they wanted.

In Vanuatu, $25,000 could feed a village of 100 people for a year. It could buy 1,250 pairs of $20 shoes for kids who've never seen a sneaker, let alone wear a pair. It could build 250 new houses for a village that has to move their location because of the rising sea level. It could build a school so more students can have the opportunity to get an academic education.

Who am I to spend $25,000 on anything, when I know it could change an entire community's future? I am so aware that this is the one wedding I get; the one day where I get to decide everything (!) and not worry about anything. It's a day that is so important and a day on which you begin something so special; but $25,000? Note: Just to be very clear, we do not have a budget of $25,000; a fifth of that at the most.

How did our society get to the point where it's acceptable--no, expected--to spend this kind of money on one day? What happened to love? Isn't that what the day is about: two people loving each other so much that they want to commit themselves to each other in front of every person in their lives that matters to them? So why should we pay ourselves into debt to have the day we want when the day is perfect if the two people involved go home together that night?

So. I'm designing and making my own dress. My bridesmaids, family, and I are making the decorations. I'm designing and making the invitations. We're getting married where my dad works. I'm going to buy single stem flowers and make my own arrangements and bouquets. We're not having alcohol. There is so much we can do that will cut the cost and still give us a beautiful day.

We need to bring weddings back from this crazy show of wealth to what they're about: love. I love my fiancé and I can't wait to share that moment I become his wife with my friends and family--with the budget and meaning I want.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Birthday Resolutions

Today is my birthday. I'm 24 years old. It's amazing to think that I'm so old. Or so young! Part of me feels like I've been through enough to fill a lifetime and part of me feels so immature and naive. Also, one of my friends just brought to my attention that this is my last birthday as "Kinsey Whearty." Wow! It's true, though; next year I will be "Kinsey Hein!" It is going to be a big year.

In light of my birthday, I'm not going to be writing about politics, devastation across the eastern seaboard, or controversial things. I love doing it, but it has the tendency to make me a little cranky and I don't want to be grumpy on my birthday!

I always take some time on my birthday to make "New Year's" resolutions. Birthdays give me the chance to evaluate the last year and tweak what I don't like that I'm doing and continue what I do like. These are some of my resolutions for this year.

• Bridezilla. :) I'm getting married in June and I do not want to be a "Bridezilla"! 
• Take more of a stand for my recovery. I never thought that I would be 24 and not working because of my health. That's not who I am, and I want to work harder to get this taken care of.
• De-stress. I have a propensity to take little things and get really stressed out about them. If I think back to a few months ago, I know I was stressed out, but I can't even remember what it was that was stressing me out, which means it probably wasn't worth getting super-stressed over!
• Love more. My friends, family, and fiancé. 
• Work on being happier with myself. This blog has been so great for me because I have something that's my own, but I want to take it to the next level. I've got my own site, but I need to push it to something beyond what it is right now. I love doing this and I want to make it something successful. While I'm working hard on making this better, though, I need to make sure that I like myself for who I am and that my self-worth is not tied to my site and how many hits I get each day.

Thank you all for making the last two months of this blog so great! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support. I started this on a whim almost and it's grown more than I could ever have expected. I think knowing that I have such a great support group is the best birthday present ever!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Social Media: Overshare?

Wow! I just have to say "thank you" to everyone who read yesterday's post--there were over 300 views yesterday alone, and now I'm up over 2,200 total! I've only had this blog up for a month and I am just so excited that it's getting such positive feedback!

I got to thinking about why my blog is doing so well and realized that I would be completely unknown without social networking sites. (Granted, the photos yesterday didn't hurt my views, but I don't really think that's the reason people read my blog.) This morning, I heard that Justin Timberlake is revitalizing Myspace and launching it soon. This is the link to "The New Myspace" preview video. It looks like it's going to be a music sharing/event making/store/hanging out site. In light of this event, I got to looking at the social media scene, and all of the sites I'm on and what I use them for.

http://www.solveitmedia.com

Facebook: This is definitely the social media site I spend the most time on. I am connected with my family who lives all over the U.S., friends from all over the world, and people I've met at professional conferences or educational events.
Pros: Easy to connect with family. Great photo uploading. User friendly.
Cons: It seems boring; I've been on it for over five years and I don't know if it's because I'm older and have better things to do than creep on people or if the site is really just losing its luster, but it's not as interesting as it used to be. Also, I never know what privacy setting has changed; I feel like I read the "terms" every week just to make sure I'm not missing something.

Twitter: I love Twitter for updates that seem kind of silly. I don't necessarily need to post a whole Facebook status about it, but I still want to share or comment.
Pros: Super easy to use. Easier than FB to connect with celebs.

Cons: From what I've observed, people spend less time reading profiles on Twitter, so it's harder to promote yourself or a product. It's also kind of impersonal; just a list of random one-liners.

http://www.emersonsocialmedia.com

Google+: I only use Google+ for promoting my blog and work-related stuff. (Also, I have YouTube; love that.)

Pros: It's connected to Blogger. Hangouts look like fun.

Cons: It's not user-friendly at all. I really don't like the way it's organized. Also, it's not as clean as FB so a lot of people didn't switch/add Google+ when it came out, because why should they? They have a social networking site that they know and love.

Pinterest: LOVE! :) This is pretty much how I'm planning my wedding and getting ideas for what I want to do with my apartment. I love this site.

Pros: It's so easy to use. It's fun. There are so many links to other sites I would never find with out Pinterest.

Cons: Every single thing you pin shows up under your name if you Google yourself. Interesting. 

Recovery Record: BEST APP EVER for people recovering from eating disorders! I use it every day and try to log all my meals! It's great.

Pros: You get rewards (songs) for logging your meals. You can "pair-up" with someone else and give them virtual gifts. It's FREE. You get encouragement emailed to you if you don't log for a couple days and it's really sweet. It's exciting and makes you want to log your meals and get better. It's customizable for your particular needs.

Cons: Again, pseudonyms are the only thing allowed, so you can't really connect with people even if they sound super cool. Sometimes there are glitches and you don't get them fixed until they send out an update.

http://hazellcottrell.com/category/social-media/

Little Monsters: Joined it yesterday to promote my blog since it was about Lady Gaga.

Pros: If you love Gaga, that's the place to be. It's nice to see young people coming together and sharing their problems without any criticism or bullying.

Cons: It is so emo. I'm a little old for the site, I think. 

LinkedIn: Professional social networking site. I have one, but don't use it a whole lot.

Pros: My resume is uploaded. Everyone can see my qualifications for jobs.

Cons: I've had this site for 5 years and have never had someone call me for a job.

The Knot: Wedding site!!! :)

Pros: It has so many ideas! We can have our own wedding site and blog. It gives you a timeline and to do list!

Cons: Honestly, I don't know if it's worth it. I have found a lot more ideas on Pinterest than The Knot, and I have this blog, why would I make another one? 

Fitocracy: This is like an RPG for fitness! It's awesome! I use it every time I work out.

Pros: You don't have to use your real name. You can upload photos. You can give other people "props." Join fitness events in your area. Join groups that relate to your fitness goals.

Cons: Doesn't tell you why you get more points for some exercises and less for others. There aren't a lot of people on it yet, so you have to mostly connect with people you don't know.

PatientsLikeMe: Track your symptoms and see other users who are going through the same thing! I used this a lot when I started having more medical problems. I don't use it much anymore, but I really liked it.

Pros: Awesome graphs. Tons of conditions listed.

Cons: No real names allowed, so if you really want to talk to someone about something, you don't really have a way to do that. Not very user friendly.

http://nowsourcing.com/2010/03/17/social-media-infographic/

So, these are all the social sites I'm on. Social media and social networking is great, but this is kind of crazy! I know that it's the only reason my blog is read, but at the same time, I don't go out and hang out with people, because I'm working on my profiles all the time. Also, none of these are private! Anyone can search and find all of this about me. I don't regret any of it; I feel like I've been very true to myself and I'm honest on everything. It just seems a little bit creepy that I've allowed all of these sites to have access to my information and keep it even after I cancel my accounts.

Our world is moving forward so quickly and social media and social networking is a HUGE part of it! It seems like being social is the exact opposite now of what it used to be: You used to have to try to be noticed; now you have to try really hard to stay anonymous. So, my life is pretty much displayed online; that's typical for our generation. But is it safe? Is it smart? When is privacy more important than sharing everything online?

myspace.com

I asked for an invite to the new Myspace. :)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi