Newtown and the Nation: Looking Forward

I know that all of you have been inundated with the news of the Newtown, Connecticut school shooting on Friday. There's some part of me that feels like I shouldn't write about it, since that's all we've been hearing about since Friday. There's a larger part of me, however, that sees this as something that warrants pause and thought. So here goes.

The children and teachers who were senselessly killed on Friday will leave a hole in the hearts of not only their parents and families, but our entire nation. We've been hearing stories over the last couple of days about those children: their favorite activities, what they'd hoped to do in the future, and the joy they brought to their families and everyone around them. They sound like amazing kids. The faculty who were killed sound like stellar teachers and administrators. They will not be forgotten.

Last night President Obama attended the interfaith memorial service in Newtown. The speech he gave was, in my opinion, one of the best he's given. The overall message was incredibly poignant: "...every parent knows there's nothing we will not do to shield our children from harm...This is our first task, caring for our children. It's our first job. If we don't get that right, we don't get anything right. That's how, as a society, we will be judged. And by that measure, can we truly say, as a nation, that we're meeting our obligations? Can we honestly say that we're doing enough to keep our children, all of them, safe from harm? Can we claim, as a nation, that we're all together there, letting them know they are loved and teaching them to love in return?...I've been reflecting on this the last few days, and if we're honest with ourselves, the answer's no. We're not doing enough. And we will have to change...For those of us who remain, let us find the strength to carry on and make our country worthy of their memory."

While some people take the most obvious issue from this tragedy (gun control) and talk about it, I think we can do better than that. Yesterday, like every Sunday in the fall, I watched football. During the commercials, there were a few previews for television shows that were incredibly disturbing. At the end of them, they all had "Viewer Discretion Advised" written at the top of their last frame. But the previews were shown during the day in the middle of a football game: something that's on in millions of households across America. There was another commercial during the game for a new video game (I don't remember, nor can I find the name of it) in which you have "kill or be killed." It was horrifying. Even though it had an "M for Mature" rating, little kids saw that commercial during the football game and the ones without strict parents will get it if they say that they want it.

We can let the people in Washington argue about what laws they feel are important to pass. A lot of us have opinions on that, too, and that's fine, but that's just the political side of it.

We need to change our society. We have to decide to change. We have to turn off the TV when our kids are home and we know there will be scary things shown, even if it's "our game" that's on. We have to choose to parent our kids and tell them "no" about certain things. We have to teach our kids to love by showing them the love we have for them from the minute they take their first breaths. We have to teach our kids what's right. We have to teach peace. We have to work to "make our country worthy of their memory." We cannot depend on laws to change our society and instill peace in our nation. It starts at home with the family.

And it is work. I love football so much and I hate to think that I'm going to miss watching a lot of "my games" once I have kids, but I'm not going to let my kids watch that. It is work to be a good parent. You have to fight those fights that are hard. But you have to fight them. I was such a stubborn kid when I was little and my parents fought those fights with me and never let me win. I was so angry with them every time I lost those fights. But now I understand why they fought those fights with me and why they were right. Parents need to remember that it's not a popularity contest with their kids and they don't need to be their kids' friends when they're 10 years old. If parents do the hard parenting when their kids need it, the friendship will come later.

Tonight, hug your kids. Talk with your husband or wife about how your family will get through this hard, sad time. Let your kids feel whatever they're feeling right now and express those feelings in the safe ways they need to express them. Never forget this tragedy and victims of it. Let's work together to make sure that we "make our country worthy of their memory."

An angel hand-painted by my great-great aunt Ida Collins. It seemed appropriate for today.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

TV Violence: Is the News Taking It Too Far?

2:00 am
I don't think I've seen this hour in months! For some reason (*cough* new meds *cough*) I can't sleep tonight. I keep having nightmares and I'm absolutely exhausted, but I can't sleep. I decided to get up because I felt bad for waking up my fiancé every time I moved.

The nightmare I kept having was about something I saw on television today. I was flipping channels around 3 pm; I'd just finished listening to/watching an episode of America's Next Top Model and I needed something to bring my IQ back up. I went through the news channels and stopped on CNN. They were talking about the possibility of a cease-fire in the Middle East. I am all for peace, so I decided to watch the story.

As the top of the hour rolled by, they showed the most recent development in the escalation of violence: a group of Hamas men on motorcycles dragging the body of an alleged Israeli spy through the streets of Gaza while crying out, "God is great!" I was horrified! I am an extremely sensitive person when it comes to seeing violence and this crossed the line. I was absolutely blown away that they would show this at three o'clock in the afternoon. They did not preface it with, "This shows graphic images" or anything like that. How many kids had yesterday off from school and could have been flipping channels like I was?!

Around 8 pm or so, my fiancé and I were watching Anderson Cooper 360 and for some reason he or his producers thought it would be important to show a bunch of "graphic images" while Anderson talked about what had been going on lately. Anderson prefaced it with, "We are about to show some very graphic images..." While I appreciate the warning (I hid my eyes, but I wasn't quite quick enough), AC360 is a primetime show. How many families are flipping through channels on their first night of Thanksgiving vacation and accidentally see a baby wrapped in a Palestinian flag being lifted in front of a crowd for all to see?! At 10 pm when AC360 came back on after Piers Morgan's show, he did the same thing. I, again, didn't watch; but I wasn't as bothered by CNN showing those images at 10 pm than in the middle of the afternoon and during primetime.

While I understand that this is news and it needs to be shared, I really feel like the brazen reporting needs to stop. I am extraordinarily sensitive to this kind of thing, yes, but as a future parent, I take exception to this. I wouldn't want my children watching the news for a school project or something and all of the sudden see someone being dragged behind a motorcycle. What kind of message does that send to my kids? That the networks care more about the ratings they can get with shock value images than they care about the fact that the person being dragged has a family who might not even know he's dead?

What if it had been an American soldier being dragged behind the motorcycle? The networks would never have shown it! It would have been news, sure; but they would not have repeatedly shown the clip of it actually happening. They would have mentioned it and said something about how it is just immoral and horrifying that those heathens would do that to one of our soldiers. But someone who isn't an American? Sure, let's show that to the world. Some ally we are, showing our ally spy's body being desecrated.

I have immense respect for reporters and their crews. The job they have is incredibly difficult and sometimes dangerous. I don't want Anderson Cooper to take this personally (not that he'll read it; but maybe he will) because I think he's a brilliant reporter. I just want to bring awareness to the fact that just because something happens doesn't mean we need to see it in real time. Wait until after 9 or 10 pm and then show it if you really think it has merit.

Parents, please consider what your kids are exposed to. Even if you're "doing the right thing" and limiting TV time and making sure they're not watching R-rated movies, or whatever you think is the "right thing," pay attention to what they're watching. Remember that if you're watching it with them in the room, they're watching it, too. If the news gets too violent, turn the TV off, have a family game night or something, and watch the news online after your kids go to bed. Violence breeds violence. We need to breed a generation of peace.

Enough. Time for some sleep.

11:30 am
I just proofed what I wrote last night and think it's ready to share. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Middle East: Justice?

Headlines Today

• U.S. destroyers that are carrying cruise missiles are on their way to Libya's coast after the attack on the U.S. consulate that left four Americans dead (still no word on how many Libyans were killed).
• There are now protestors and riots at the embassies in Yemen, Egypt, and Iraq.
• Al-Qaeda released a video of a USAID worker who is still being held hostage.
• Apple released the iPhone5, the new iPod touch, the new iPod nano, and new earbuds (aka "earpods). 
• McDonalds is posting the calorie count of each item on their menu up on the board where everyone can see it as they order.
• The Chicago teacher strike is in Day 4, but they say they are making progress.
• Fashion Week!!! I have been so negligent about this--it's been going on for a week almost and I haven't written anything about it! I may make a whole post just about Fashion Week...I have so many favorites!

There is so much going on! I am going to write a little bit now and then I'll write more later today. I am having problems with my macbook and so I get to drive back to Cincinnati. Again. The closest Apple store is 40 minutes away...Louisville's only 80 minutes away...maybe I should just go back there! :)

Okay, so let's start with the Middle East.

Some sources (GMA this morning) are saying that the attack in Libya was planned to be on the anniversary of September 11. The other protests are apparently in light of the movie trailer that is bashing Mohammad. And now we have ships over by Libya. With missiles on them. Obama is saying that Egypt is not necessarily an ally and Romney is bashing him for not having more security at the embassies in the Middle East.

Oh my goodness! The problem here is that I don't really even know what to say. I am horrified by the attacks on U.S. emabassies and consulates, and extremely upset by the fact that the protestors killed one of our ambassadors. At the same time, I really don't think that going over there and possibly starting another war is a good idea. I think I am going to take the same stance I took after the attacks on September 11, 2001 (yes, I was only 12 when it happened, but I had an opinion, and I remember exactly what I thought when Bush declared war): The people who committed these acts should be brought to justice, but starting attacks on entire communities is a terrible idea because those communities didn't kill anyone; individual people did. In the war in Afghanistan, for example, estimates are that over 12,000 civilians were killed between 2006 and 2011 (interestingly, I am having an insanely hard time finding statistics pre-2006). Nineteen terrorists were the hijackers in the 9/11 attacks. We were also aware that Osama bin Laden was behind it. That makes 20 people. Now, 19 of those 20 died, seeing as they died in the attack. So that left one person to bring to justice. And over 12,000 civilians were killed in a war to bring one person to justice. I am well aware that al-Qaeda killed some of the civilians. But so did we. Yes, we brought bin Laden to "justice" if killing someone is justifiable to you, but at what cost?

I have to get going, but I will be back later to continue discussing this and the rest of the headlines.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Remembering September 11, 2001

This was the view from my balcony this morning of the edge of night receding. On this eleventh anniversary of September 11, 2001, I think it's important to take a moment to be still. Watching the edge of night disappear over the horizon making way for a beautiful blue sky was my moment. Not to sound incredibly cliche, but I hope we will get to see the edge of killing recede in our lifetimes. Listening to the local news this morning, I heard three different murders mentioned. Then on national news, an airstrike that killed members of Al-Quaeda in Iran was featured. Of course, the victims of the attacks on September 11, 2001 were mentioned as well. We need to work toward a more peaceful and tolerant world. Today give yourself a moment to remember the people who have died because of the intolerance of others. Then take another moment to think about your own intolerances of others. How does the way your intolerance hurt other people? It probably doesn't kill them, but killing usually doesn't start with killing; it starts with intolerance. Try to understand why your intolerance exists and then try to see the other side. Today work toward a more peaceful world by shelving your own intolerance and accepting others for who they are. This is the only way to start the cycle of tolerance and peace. It starts with you.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi